Leave your past behind
by scarletchidori
Summary: Dan has never been Lucifer's biggest fan. He always found something that bother him about the man, whether it was because of something he said or did, he never missed an opportunity to criticize him


_"___Grief is the price you pay for love, you see."__

__(Anne with an E)__

"Dan?", Chloe says opening the door surprised "What are you doing here?"

"Are you okay?", he asks "You… it's almost two weeks, are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she says "It's just- I haven't been feeling well these days, so I decided to stay home."

"Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's okay," she says.

She cannot say the truth. That she has been feeling devastated because Lucifer returned to Hell. He doesn't even know who Lucifer really is, and besides is none of his business where Lucifer is or not.

"Where's Lucifer?," he asks "He has been absent for almost three weeks, he didn't say anything to anyone, not a word to Ella or to anyone else."

"Oh… he went home," Chloe says automatically "His family really needed him."

"When is he coming back?", he asks with emotion clear in his voice "I have to talk to him."

"I don't know," Chloe replies "I really don't know, I'm very sorry."

"Can I at least call him?"

"I guess", she replies undecided.

Chloe strongly doubts that he has taken his cellphone to Hell with him. And in any case he wouldn't be able to answer. But since she cannot tell the truth to him she smiles and nods.

"Yes," she says "You could leave him a message, maybe? I'm sure that he will respond to you as soon as he can."

"Thank you," he nods "Take care of yourself, okay? You look really pale."

Chloe nods with a smile, then after closing the door she drags herself into her bedroom, lying down on her bed again.

Dan has never been Lucifer's biggest fan. He always found something that bother him about the man, whether it was because of something he said or did, he never missed an opportunity to criticize him. But deep down he always knew that it wasn't Lucifer's fault if things in his life went south and it's definitely not his fault that Charlotte is dead.

He spent weeks in anger, sleeping with only one thought in his mind; Lucifer has to pay. But he didn't do anything wrong, and now Dan knows. Losing Charlotte hit him hard, he loves her so much, but this can never justify his actions. What he did or what the just thought of doing.

He takes the phone out of his pocket, looking for Lucifer's number and after thinking about it for one moment he decides to call him. The phone rings for a while before activating the answering machine.

"Lucifer," he starts saying "It's Dan. I just wanted to apologize for everything I said or did, it's not your fault that she died."

He takes a deep breath, the pain of loss is still there and threatens to rip his heart in half.

"It's just that I miss her so much and losing her changed me. I was so keen to blame someone and I ended up blaming you. It wasn't your fault, and as hard as it is to accept it, it's not my fault either."

He can only blame Pierce. No one else can take the blame but him, and as much as he hates to admit it, a part of him is glad that he's dead. In no way he would accept a world where he's alive, and she's dead.

"The anger was so great that I would have killed you, just to put my heart in peace. I apologize for what I said to you, for all the times that I blamed you, and also for thinking that you didn't care about her."

He would have liked to be able to talk to him face to face. There is something wrong in talking one the phone, without even knowing if he will listen to the message. Well,he honestly wouldn't blame him if he deleted the message without even listening to it.

"I'm sorry, Lucifer," Dan says "I'm very sorry."

Daniel feels his heart lighter. Letting go of all the anger he felt and the guilt helped him realize many things. He will forever miss Charlotte, but he will not allow his pain to ruin his other relationships.

"I hope to see you soon and to apologize properly," he whispers "Bye."

Somewhere, in the farthest corner of Hell, Lucifer hears Dan's voice, and smiles.


End file.
